i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's never too late to be topless.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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