Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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