We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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