if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
