similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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