dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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