soooo we both peed the bed last night...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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