12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
