She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
