you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
