long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
