I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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