I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
