I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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