But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
