I want to make a zoo with you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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