tell your sister to shave her snatch
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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