you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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