Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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