is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Drunk is not a location!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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