Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We have started to decorate penises.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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