you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
