He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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