i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
