i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
