ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
false alarm, still single
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dear god my vagina.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize