so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
