Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
