May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
