Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
