She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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