SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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