if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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