Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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