I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
