ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
