He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
