I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
