Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
