so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
