I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
