Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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