In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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