My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize