I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
