When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
false alarm, still single
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize