We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
