Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
