if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
