Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
