No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
