Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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