Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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