good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
