I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
