He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
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