what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
